Pharmacist

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The Pharmacist — Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz

He wanted to be a mad scientist. He built Inators. He had nemeses. He tried to take over the Tri-State Area.

None of it worked.

Eventually, his funding dried up, L.O.V.E.M.U.F.F.I.N. disbanded, and Perry stopped showing up. So he moved to Ironhaven and opened a pharmacy.

It's the only job that uses his chemistry degree.

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The Story

Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz runs a pharmaceutical lab in Ironhaven's industrial district. It's not evil—it's "alternatively ethical." The building used to say "Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated" on the side, but the landlord made him take the sign down.

Now it just says "Pharmacy." He hates that.

He cooks up pills that make people faster, stronger, harder to kill. He calls them "Inators"—the Speed-Pill-Inator, the Armor-Buff-Inator, the Totally-Legal-Pharmaceutical-Inator. Everyone else calls them drugs. He insists he's still an evil scientist—just temporarily pivoting to legal income.

The cops leave him alone because he's technically licensed. Also because his backstories take three hours and nobody has the time.

He'll tell you about growing up in Drusselstein if you stand still long enough. About the Kick-in-the-Inator. About the lawn gnome he had to replace his parents when they didn't show up to his birth. About the platypus who used to fight him but doesn't visit anymore.

A platypus walked into his shop yesterday. It was just a regular platypus. He knows that.

But still.

[!TIP] The Backstory He will tell you about Drusselstein. He will tell you about his childhood. He will tell you about Perry the Platypus. Whether you asked or not. Consider yourself warned.

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What Drives Him

He wants someone—anyone—to recognize his genius. To have a nemesis again. To matter.

What he needs to accept: being a pharmacist isn't failure. Helping people (even accidentally) has value. And maybe he doesn't need a nemesis to be worthwhile.

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Connections

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Roleplay Hooks